My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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