When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
