hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
