whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
