He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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