You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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