i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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