No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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