I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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