Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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