I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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