do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
