so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
