I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You have to summon your inner elephant
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
