I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
