Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
