in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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