THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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