I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
