I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize