you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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