just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
