I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
