Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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