She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
