My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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