girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
