You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
