when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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