so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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