miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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