soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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