...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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