found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
