on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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