Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
