why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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