Nicole vs. Life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
