is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
