Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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