Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
