I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
