I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize