I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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