I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
