They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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