There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
