i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
