All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He shit in the fireplace
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
