Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize