Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
