i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
