First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize