...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
