found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
