You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
did i just pee glitter
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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