my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
