I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
