Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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